what i think about art

These are pics from the last project I did before college ended. It was inspired by Christos umbrella project, which i love because its beautiful and dramatic, and its outside and connecting with the world. I didnt know what this was, it was my attempt at just doing something and figuring it out afterwards. I really wanted to start working with the city, the involvement with the public, but I like to do it from an anonymous point of view. I like not being there. I guess to me the artist is only ever present in spirit or something. Theyre in the work, not the space. not physically there i guess. The myth of the artist and all that, if the artist is there its their work, you understand it as they do, not as you could.
Anyway, Im putting this up because it is the first step in the direction of the kind of stuff i want to be doing. i want to be doing stuff in the city, relatively anonymously. i think.!!! Like the piles of flour, i want to make stuff that make people think and question, but come to their own conclusions. It really didnt give us anything but time and space. Thats why it was amazing. Maybe ill do something like that in limerick. The only thing is can i call it art? can i get graded on it? personally i dont mind if it doesnt get called art, its life, its important, and its not the label i give it that matters. Im just realising I dont want to be a gallery type artist. I read a really interesting article the other day in a free magazine that replied to a comment (made by marcel duchamp i think) that said the best artists will go underground. it makes sense, art shouldnt be done for money, in my opinion, its that fluxus idea that art is life and life is art and thats the vibe i love and get in edinburgh and berlin. Art is everywhere and everyones making it. the best stuff is the stuff thats available to everyone.

Life and Confusion

I accidently spent the last half hour looking at quotes about 'life'. Its dangerous, dont do it. Its made me aware of my confusion. The things I believe and the things I hope for conflict. I believe in no regrets, everything is good, in the future looking back because we learn from everything. But everything is good then life is too easy. If I was able to commit myself to this idea I would be passive. The quote I was trying to find goes like this:

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a common place thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.....

So what to think? Dont think. feel. life happens, its ambiguous, uncontrollable, powerful and affecting. Its amazing and beautiful, its soft and shy, its easy to miss. Its spectacular. But I miss it. I think about it, instead of experiencing it. I dont want to be self indulgent here, but I want to understand, to correct, yet what I understand is its ambiguous, outside of my intelligence, it feels outside of my reach. How do I learn to appreciate it? in my logic, risk loosing it. fear. Fear is untouchable. Its life touching me, grabbing me and putting me in a place outside of my control, outside of my intelligence. Its life and its powerful and its how I feel. I forget that its good. And thats good. Its not a thought. Thus, my attempts at perfection are fruitless always, because hey are attempts, decisions, not a natural progression. what do I do? nothing? will that leave me back where I am or will my decision not to change anything change everything? Is it all invalid now because I hsve considered it? Now you see my difficulty. Life confuses me. Life, it just happens. Relax and let it. ?