4th YEAR!!!

So it's been way too long!
My severe lack of internet access this summer has been , well, annoying! But also freeing methinks!
So now Im back and ready to roll again! Here's the catch-up...
Over the summer I spent time thinking about and reading about seeing. Since 'ways of seeing' it has been something I find incredibly interesting, but David Hockney is now the new master of it in my eyes (!). For me it is all related to my previous ideas on reality and fiction, and especially to my interest in photography, and even film. How we se what we see and why.
Ah, Im almost boring myself today so I'll leave with this...I plan to continue taking lots and lots of analogue pictures, and to start sketching from my pictures (hopefully by observing them so closely I can learn more from them about my intentions!

My essay on reality and fiction!

Im just sitting here thinking about whether or not a film I watched can be considered part of my past, almost like something that happened to me? for instance, if Ive seen it does that mean that it has become part of my reality because I have experienced it?? I may learn a lesson from it, or its themes or ideas may reoccur in my head frequently as witha piece of art. I may even use it to explain things to other people. Does it not therefore bcome more and more real to me?? If I learn a lesson or find a new thought does it really matter if it came from a 'real' experience or from a movie?? I still have the lesson. obviously it can be srgued that its not as valuabnle a lesson if its not 'real', but theres also the argument that even though it's fiction it came frm someone elses mind, so it's like being thought a lesson by a teacher, only difference being you havent met the teacher. I guess that means your own perception of the lesson and the tutor would be less biased, and perhaps more honest, or perhaps more naive.
So if i watch a movie and take something from it does that not make the memory of the movie the same as any other memory? does it really matter that I was REALLY there for one experience, and only WATCHED the other?? I only watched documentaries and have still believed them to be real (although I am no longer so naive as to believe them to be the whole truth, the truest truth!). The stories they told became part of reality for me, something that happened, something that I know about, but most importantly they become a situation I have THOUGHT about. For me, this means that film as memories can be just as important, or even more important than real memories, because their affect on my thoughs and therefore actions can be just as powerful! Maybe thats just me though!
This is a really interesting line of thought for me but I cant write the essays without sources and the ideas and thoughts of other more qualified people. This is the hard part. Where to start??!!

Reality and perception

In the meantime Im trying to work on my essay for CCS (critical and contextual studies), and try and get some studio work done. Im findign the essay terribly interesting because it's completely self-directed so I can write about anything I like. I'm thinking a lot about reality and in particular the place of fiction in reality. Basically for me fiction is as real as reality itself. That's not to say that the things that happened in a fictional story happened to reallife living people, but once you've seen/heard/read a story it is as much a part of your experience as real life experiences. I started this theory after seeing Charles Kauffman's movie Synecdoche NY. Even though the story is very fantastical and 'impossible', the film comments so directly on reality. I was most interested in the development of the ain character and began thinking about how his story refers to my life aswell. Thus I am thinking that my essay will concentrate on the blurry lines between reality and fiction, with reference mostly to some of my favourite films.
In my studio work I am disappointed because I haven't been making anythign and my thoughts have been going around in circles. Thus I have come up with a plan. I have acquired a book called 'readymades', it is basically a make and do book for adults. I am going to use the book as a sort-of brief. I will really quickly start making some of the things in the book and acquiring things to make into other things. And then I will see where it leads me. I have had many worries and doubts about this project but I realise I just have to do it. We'll see what happens!