Artist Statement

Oh...I did a sort of piece today. As soon as I get it edited Ill put it up because its 30mins long at the mo!!!! Its an aimless act...drawing boxes, then either putting ticks or Xs in each one. I like bits of it. Before I made it I hoped it would be the case that while watching it the audience would predict their way to fill each box, and begin to see themselves as different to me, but that doesnt come across. I am interested in the use of positive and negative in it, in relation to my criticism of myself and popular opinion of me as the happiest person ever, but again, I dont see it as a good piece of art. I might film it again with a better camera angle. Here are some pics I took of the paper after.

Where do I go now?

Is there any such thing as spontaneous or aimless??? I mean sure ideas can come suddenly, but personally I rarely do it immediately, I PLAN to do it someday. Aimless is "without a purpose". Even with scribbling I do it for a reason. Or do I? I guess I just do it because I want to. I know thats a good enough reason, but what good is it to anyone else? what good is it as art?
Carsten Hollers slides are amazing to me because they achieve what I was trying to achieve by giving the public crayons and paper.....a moment of fun, out of the ordinary, a moment for yourself. How can I develop on that? I keep thinking the difference between mine and his is that mine required audience participation, but so did his. A leap of faith in themselves? but so did his. AND these are aspects of art that Id like to bring to the audience. Perhaps I just dont trust them to take that leap and give themselves up to become the art. I should leave that up to each individual. So how can I do something similar???
This means that Im looking at doing an interactive piece. I like it but I do feel like theres not enough art in that for me. I need an object to call the art, perhaps something that Ive made. Could I change it up again and switch it back to video, showing me doing fun stuff like scribbling, sliding, cartwheeling, climbing trees, etc?? Im worried that that would have me looking like a crazy person again like in the Kid Project series of pictures. Hmm.
I like the idea of me looking like a crazy person, but im worried it would be off putting rather than appealling. But maybe theres a project here and I can just start it!!!!!
Thabnks for listening!

My Fears Today

So today I went to shoot the footage of me Crazy Dancing. I was terrified of doing it in front of people and also quite uncomfortable doing it alone!! I really wasnt happy with myself about that for a simple reason...Its been pointed out to me that some of my favourite artists are the ones like Marina Abramovic who put themselves in extreme situations and overcome them. I admire that and struggle is good, but I came close to chickening out! Guess Im delighted that I didnt (Thanks Luke!!!).
Anyway, after the first few seconds I didnt like it! Big mistake that I brought no music, but besides that I just really feel that it doeant fit my own brief set out in my artists statement . It feels like it disproves the ideas. But I do see possibilities in it for a piece outside of my expectations so we continued filming in different places around teh college until the battery died! Now I have technical problems....I cant get the footage onto a computer because Im missing cables, and Ive no charger so thats also a problem. The question of where to go now is difficult to answer. I havent even seen most of the footage. (mental note: technical issues always set you back days, allow for this).
Im reconsidering doing this piece at all for the exhibition but if I can Im gonna get it finished on time anyway, but Id rather like to be working on something I have more personal interest in, although I am scared that my in work I often end up deciding Ive disproved my own theory. Maybe the best thing I can do is use the piece anyway, and let people draw their own conclusions.

Where Im at Now

So at the moment me and my classmates are working towards an exhibition of sculpture and combined media which you can check out at http://www.makeanddospciety.blogspot.com/
Anyway, the point is that that is putting pressure on me to come up with a finished piece in 2 and a half weeks!!!!!!!!! ya im basically screwed! Ive decided to do a video piece and the plan is its going to be based on the crazy dancing technique i mentioned earlier. To explain im going to quote my own artists statement!

I am interested in the idea that everyone has a Core Self and that we build on this Self through our experiences. I am exploring the ways My Self is revealed through spontaneous and seemingly aimless activities.

The idea of the Core Self is quite hard for me to explain but its the idea that we each have a core personality that IS who we are. Its been there since the day we were borna nd will be there until the day we die. Everything else in our characters is variable and changes during and after experiences or events. Its my opinion that the best way to reveal these 'original' characteristics is through 'spontaneous and seemingly aimless activities', that is, the things you do without thinking, the things you like just because you like them, the places you go when youve nowhere to go.

I have to admit theres a flaw in my plan. Crazy Dancing is something slightly different for me...its a release from everyday life, but its not something I do spontaneously. well, the decision to do it is rarely spontaneous but the movements are. like scribbling, it cant be done right or wrong, it can only be done Your way. My plan for the exhibition is to video myself doing crazy dancing in the places that I go to when ive no where else to be and work with the footage.

Im inclined to say "fingers crossed it will actually work" but what I mean is "It may be difficult to make it work but I know I can do it."

Crazy Dancing

I completely forgot i also did these "crazy dancing" videos!!!! Its this dance we do because it is the most freeing, fun and ridiculous thing to do! I love it!! Its like stress relief the easy way...but you have to do it in public-embarrassment is crucial to the release!!!! Its just boring in private! Watch this space for a video link someday in the near or distant future! (I wont lie...I may never get around to finding it!!) Its just occured to me that my card game "crazy snap" could be quite relevent here too......Its so crazy everyone looses all inhibitions in order to be the first to snap!!! Everyone ends up the same-a little bit crazy, a little bit petty and like a child.this is ringing bells! Hmmmm...ideas!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqfUXnsd0lE